Team “eat to gain” Is in Full force. I mean it has been for the past 6 weeks for sure, but as you know, food keeps increasing and I’m at the highest amount thus far. Not gonna lie-today was hard. I kept having voices and thoughts in my head telling me to not eat all the food on my plates, or that I didn’t need that much, or that i was eating way more than people who exercised way more and just weighed more currently so i was just wrong for eating as much as i was, or that I was being a pig, etc etc. And I am in fact eating way more than most.... BUT — I stopped the thoughts and rationalized and told myself I’m here in this current season of my life to grow right now, mentally and physically, I have health and lifetime goals i want to reach which require some more weight to be put on, that I am on my OWN journey and to stop comparing myself to others because my body, past experiences, goals, and life is nothing like theirs, etc. And I CONSTANTLY REPEAT to myself daily: NOTHING GROWS FROM MY COMFORT ZONE. And dammit I’m not gonna let fear or ED voices/thoughts hold me back from living my best life and becoming my best self anymore. Nope. So as hard as it was I pushed through and damnnnn it felt so good. I was/am so freaking proud of myself. I stuck the course and ate allll da damn food. Plus it was all amazingly delish so that part was easy 😂. .
That said, I mixed up my meals again this week with new foods, combos and snacks. And I really enjoyed it! I also faced a big ol fear and made a 5 grain mix I’ve had in my cupboards for monthsss because i wanted it but always chickened out to actually make it. But I finally tackled and overcame my rice fear a couple weeks ago and so it was time to bring it back with this grain mix to make this Mexican-y inspired dinner dish. And dangggg so glad I did cuz it was bomb. I seriously forgot the past 10 years how much I LOVE grains and the various types (rice, barley, quinoa, etc). My heart of full, happy and so big. This isn’t easy. Not one bit. But dang It is so worth every struggle. Cuz those struggles make me stronger and the struggles turn into successes. And I’m all for bumps in the road to reach the top of the mountain 🏔