Thanks to Facebook for bringing up this picture today and rekindled my walk down memory lane. What you see in this happy photo is the happy "Us", after my firstborn - Kumara's first hair tonsure ceremony. Seeing this picture again after sometime brought me back to 2013 and the year before that...Sans Kumara though!
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I was a different person then. I was diagnosed with clinical depression during my first pregnancy, the "Dark Ages" of my life. Work, personal and my family life took a heavy toll on me. I was a different person then. Cribbed in my room, finding faults and ready to wreak vengeance on those who are close to me! It took me 6 whole years now to admit that I am a suicide attempt survivor 🙈 Depression and suicidal thoughts are two of the most frightening things a person can face in their lifetime - I've been there, done that! So in the negativity of it all, I did not realise that I should have enjoyed the moment and not worry about things that didn't matter. Because what I had then, maybe...many others were not even blessed with. At times I was rude to people and I didn't realise how much I was hurting them.
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After I had Kumara, he changed me a lot...A LOT! I don't know how to explain but I managed to see the love my family envelopes me with, especially my husband. They always have. Differences and flaws will always be there. No two perspective are the same. But there is a reason to ignore all that and revel in the beauty of happiness. Now, I know that I have a more positive outlook towards life. I look forward to the love, the bonding, and spending time together - be it with my husband & sons, my inlaws or my parents & sister. Because, at the end of the day that is what deepens relationship. I always keep in my mind that when all the dust is settled and all the crowds are gone, the "thing" that matters most are faith, family & friends.
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As my instagram bio says " The best things in life, aren't things" 🙂
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#asurvivorstaleofdepression