I will keep patching up my own holes. The places where I feel all is lost and there is no hope. The places where life seems so far from this world and I feel so distant from anything that would give reason to go on. I go past the edges of my mind.
I know that I am not just feeling this for me. That, as I weave back together spirit and matter in me, this is exactly the work that is needed in the world. That, when I feel that we have become so distant from the divine or love, or any human thing that would give meaning, it is because we have. There are so many others who do not feel this pain of separation or despair and, instead, continue the pain as though it is the whole of reality.
I do not have the life path of a 23 year old who went off to the jungle and got free. There is tremendous truth and value in that, but there is also value in what I must do: continue to breathe into the pains of the whole and patch up every exit of doubt through which I might try to escape. Sometimes, it is dancing in love and joy. Sometimes, it is breath by breath. Knowing that the solutions are things i can’t yet know.
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