I've been #struggling with #depression for almost 24 years, that I can remember. #suicidalthougts and #suicidal #planning is something that has become #normal for me to have running through my mind. #how #when #why what would I say, who would I #apologize to... All things that cross my mind most days. It's #exhausting to fight back against it, it's #tiring to always be on guard for #moments when it hits really hard. It usually takes the form of #feeling like a #failure, looking around and seeing #nothing but my own #shortcomings and all the people I've let down. I #constantly feel like I'm letting someone down, I feel like I'm never #good enough. It's the feeling of being a #burden to those around me, because even when #laughing and #smiling is #always #underneath. The #battle keeps moving, the #fight keeps happening, and it's always #draining.