It’s really hard to trust people to look after your child when they have a learning disability and are unable to talk to you.
It’s not that you don’t want to trust them, it’s just that you know how vulnerable they are, all of their different needs and how tricky this can be to balance.
How can you expect someone else to know?
With Brody the most terrifying thing is that he has zero danger awareness. He would walk in front of a car without a second thought. He would put his hand into a flame. He would walk into water. He would let himself fall from a great height.
You get the idea - and if you can relate I empathise. It perhaps the hardest thing about looking after him. Switching off for a second could be fatal.
Then there are other things that all add up and build up your anxiety.
The little ways that your child communicates with you that only you understand.
Personal care needs - feeding, changing, toileting.
Behaviour - throwing, lying down and refusing to move, hitting, kicking, making noises.
Sensory issues - sight, hearing, taste and touch.
Medical needs - Brody gets sore legs and has epilepsy.
It’s hard to manage all of these things with your child when you understand and anticipate them all - let alone expect someone else to roll with it.
Because of this, there are very few people we can leave Brody with.
When Brody first started to go to his summer activity scheme I used to cry after I left him because I was so nervous. It was really hard to relax.
Now when I take him it’s a weight off. He claps and gets excited when we drive in and I know how much he loves it. And most importantly I know he is looked after and that I can trust that he will be okay.
For this I am *so* grateful. The whole team are worth their weight in gold.
I know as he gets older we will continue to face these feelings. It started with nursery, then the school taxi and then school.
It’s one of those things that I will always find hard.
But when it goes right, it’s so wonderful - for all of us.
Xx
(Photo that they sent me today on his last day there ❤️)