We left it here, "why does the mother act emotionally detached from her own child?".
Here are 5 reasons for that.
Reason #1
Mother's past trauma which remained unhealed/unresolved:
Trust me, we as kid, can never understand what trauma made her do/say/act/think/teach us in a certain way. It's highly likely that such moms were abused or neglected in their childhood. Not having that emotional attachment in childhood can create a lifelong vacuum in individuals no matter how many relationships they enter.
Reason #2
Mental health issues: Well, this is a hot topic nowadays but in her times, it was not. In our parents' times it was not. It's not that it didn't exist then. But it was never accepted that it existed no matter now much you try to deny it. This trauma might come from
😰Physical health issues
😑😠😖 Or even general anxiety, depression and other such problems
😞Not having anyone to counsel or guide them during such times only suppressed the issues but they kept growing inside!
Never ever underestimate the power of a true friend even if you are married. Times when your husband couldn't be emotionally available for you, might need other genuine people in your circle who can help you with healthy advice.
Reason #3
When the mother did not consciously plan for motherhood: In such cases, the mother's emotional reaction would mostly be irritated or feeling discontent. That's why for the healthy childhood of your baby, prior planning is always helpful. Also, motherhood should be a mom's decision jointly with the father. Motherhood is not about keeping everyone's opinions and making everyone happy, at the cost of yours and your child's happiness!
Reason #4
The fundamental truths,or thoughts based on which our parents DECIDE something for us throughout our lives is an IMPORTANT FACTOR. Trust me, if we don't do the inner work ourselves, we often believe mom's TRAUMA = OUR TRUTH. BUT IT'S NOT 🚫
EXAMPLE:
A parent who believes
Discipline >>> Emotions
Often follow an "authoritative/aloof approach"
They end up raising children who BELIEVE EMOTIONS ARE INVALID.
Reason #5
When the mom had no role models: It's more common for her to pass on her trauma as truth!