After being married for nearly 5 years, today I headed to the transport centre to officially update my name on my drivers license. The paperwork still hasn’t been completed (after 2 visits and being told on both occasions it would be a 2 hour wait) but this was a significant step for me. Officially changing my name is a decision I’ve put off for years, not because of any hesitation, but because of the myriad of emotions it stirs within me.
Being part of the last generation on my dad’s side carries a heavy and sad significance. If my brother doesn’t have children (which is not likely at this point in time) our family name will end with us. The thought of this is heartbreaking, especially because I am so close with my dad. It feels like a part of our family’s history and identity might fade away.
But it’s not just about the name. It’s about me, about Skye Oldham, and my identity. Suddenly having a new name feels like saying goodbye to a part of myself. It’s a loss that Im struggling to come to terms with even though I tell people my new married name all the time!
And then there’s the reality of my children having a different last name, a reflection of societal norms that prioritises the father’s surname. I love my children more than anything so the disparity in naming conventions brings its own set of complexities and challenges to navigate.
I share this story not only because it is a personal milestone but also to recognise the journeys we all undertake—the ones that define us, challenge us, and ultimately, make us who we are.
I’m Skye Upton (nee Oldham)
Keep shining x
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