The first photo represents freedom in it’s purest essence! Blessed to be able to live this way! #beachlife #myparadise #privateparadise #freedom #freedominessence #myjourneywithanorexia #mylifewithanorexia #skinnydipping #seaswimming
⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING I’ve come a long way since I noticed that I have anorexia! I stopped with binging and bulimia since August last year (255 days ago) and I’ve been able to find my balance to thrive but still maintain my *happy weight*. But there is the good side and the not so good side… And I have to be honest… I’ve noticed that I’m afraid of having breakfast! It’s so stupid but I can’t help it! I obviously have a good breakfast before training, but there are days which I’ll prefer to do a fasted ride and not have to have breakfast. At the current training phase I’m in, it’s ok… but soon I’ll start to train harder again and I will have to have breakfast. Hopefully this phobia will pass. I need to overcome this idea that I’ve put in my head. For now I’m just going to go with the flow but I know that I have to change my mindset soon. Of course this is all because of anorexia. I definitely don’t want to gain any weight so it makes me believe that it’s the safer option. Deep down inside my common sense knows that if I have a proper breakfast and train hard, I’ll maintain my *happy weight* anyway! I’m pretty sure that I’ll manage when the time comes, but for now… breakfast has become my *feared meal*. 😦 #fearedmeal #breakfast #thedifficultside #myjourneywithanorexia #mylifewithanorexia #anorexianervosa #eatingdisorder #ed #eatingdisorderlife
SO PROUD OF MYSELF TODAY!!! Yesterday I suddenly wanted to have my lunch on a plate. I’d been having my lunch in large quantities and in very large bowls for many years. The portions had just been getting bigger and bigger as time went by. I was always extremely bloated and uncomfortable because of the *food baby*. This year I decided to slowly reduce the size of my lunch but maintain the calories. Since January I was able to reduce from a very large bowl to a small one. As a result, my stomach has also reduced in size. Today, I managed to reach the point where I am able to put all of my lunch on one single plate! I’m so excited that now I’m able to do this! And what’s even better, it simply happened! Naturally, on its own! This is a major milestone for a person like me, who has always had the tendency to binge. I have always used the tactic of large portions to fill myself up so I wouldn’t feel hungry, so, finally reducing the amount to a much smaller portion is huge!!!! I’m overwhelmed with my progress! I felt so much pleasure at lunchtime today, firstly because of my delicious food, but also due to the simple action of eating on a plate, with a knife as well as a fork! I rarely used a knife during meals at home… until today… because from now on my lunch portion will be what fits on my plate and I’ll be eating with a knife and fork from now on!!! #proudofmyself #lunchonaplate #normalportionsize #mynewlunchroutine #myjourneywithanorexia #mylifewithanorexia #soproud #sohappy
Wasn’t feeling well this morning but after breakfast (I was very hungry), I decided to go out for a ride. I went to a nearby beach with my urban bike. Had a very pleasant morning and took some nice photos! Felt much better afterwards! Today was totally different than I expected but I loved it! #adifferentday #aniceday #myjourneywithanorexia #mylifewithanorexia #beachlife #ilovethesun
LUNCH!!!! Definitely mealtimes are one of the most important parts of my day. I love it when it’s time to eat! It’s a very special time in which I like to enjoy my food in a kind of ritual. I like to take my time and eat slowly and peacefully. Eating makes me feel so good and happy! I eat clean and healthy foods and yes, I swear I truly enjoy it! 2 years ago I used to crave only junk food, but not any more! My body craves and loves clean food! #eatclean #cleanfood #healthyfood #cleancravings #lunch #myjourneywithanorexia #mylifewithanorexia
⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING The content in this post may trigger people in recovery… if you feel unsafe, please don’t read it. For me, this is a big step! Before I would have definitely eaten the rest. I allow myself a portion of 45g of peanut butter for dinner (I weigh it on the food scale). Yesterday there was the amount in the photo left over (approximately 25g) and I didn’t have it. I just closed the lid and put it away. In my specific case, I love to eat but depending on how much, I’ll gain too much weight so I do have to be careful. Obviously some days it’s harder than others, but I’ve managed to find a balance that works for me for quite some time now. I know that many people in recovery need to eat to recover their heath so what I’m saying here might seem contradictory, but this account is about my journey WITH anorexia, not my recovery from it. I’m fine the way I am. The proof is there! Before I would be craving food all the time. Now I’m able to nourish my body but still be at my *happy weight* and what’s even better, I’m sustaining it! I’m very proud of my accomplishment. #myjourneywithanorexia #mylifewithanorexia #balance
I ♥️ JOURNALING AND DRAWING… I’m obsessed with this new journal. I love doing little drawings in it. #journaling #journal #drawings #drawing #myjourneywithanorexia #mylifewithanorexia
I LOVE LIVING BY THE BEACH! #beachlife #peruibe #sea #seasideride #beach #myjourneywithanorexia
PAINTING… Just finished painting this hen! I’m really proud of the outcome! I loved it!! It’s a little garbage bin for the kitchen… #painting #hen #kitchen #mylifewithanorexia #myjourneywithanorexia #mindfulness #theraputic #idomyowntherapy
9O MINUTE FASTED RIDE Gotta do watcha gotta do! #fastedride #gottadowhatyougottado #gottadowhatchagottado #mylifewithanorexia #myjourneywithanorexia
HONORING MY HUNGER… Today I woke up unusually hungry. I wasn’t going to have breakfast as it’s a *rest day* but I was craving sweet potato! I had a short dilemma within my head; do I or don’t I? *Ana* said don’t, I almost didn’t, but in the end I did! The pleasure I felt was the same as when I used to have Pringles! Today I can feel the same pleasure with safe clean foods as I used to with feared comfort foods. I’m calling them my *safe clean comfort foods*. I even made a list! I’m quite surprised with this feeling I just had today and needless to say extremely happy because it makes everything so much easier! I’m in a very happy place at the moment! The photos say it all (all my photos are authentic), as is this profile. #happyplace #breakfast #mysafebreakfast #mysafecleancomfortfoods #eatclean #honoringmyhunger #mylifewithanorexia #myjourneywithanorexia
Drawing and coloring really helps me distract myself. It’s my second best mindfulness therapy after swinging. This drawing took me 2 hours to do. #coloring #drawing #mindfulness #therapy #mylifewithanorexia #myjourneywithanorexia
AN ACTIVE REST DAY… On a hot and sunny active rest day I’ll give priority to go to the beach and skinny dip in the sea. This is my favorite spot! It’s really far away from everything! So far away from everything and everyone that I ALWAYS go skinny dipping in the sea! It’s 16km away from home. I do a slow fasted ride with my urban bike. No stress, no rush, just enjoying the ride! I’m really blessed to live here and live like this! This for me, my life here, as it is now, is what has made my healing from bulimia possible. I needed to find happiness in living life again and this happiness made me less anxious and therefore able to control myself and stop binging. #myjourneywithanorexia #mylifewithanorexia #mylifeatthebeach #activerestday #blessed #happy
A TOTALLY DIFFERENT DAY I’m sitting at my living room table on a total rest day (because I need it) and having sweet potato and coffee for breakfast. I was going to fast until lunch but started to feel hungry. Today is a totally different day; I’m going to rest and eat as if I had trained. I have never done this before. It was difficult to change the protocol but I’m doing it this very minute. I’m eating and it’s feeling great! It’s not going to change my weight, after all it’s only a plain sweet potato! And if it does, it’ll be all gone tomorrow after my long ride. This is so rare and such a big step for me! To actually listen to my body and give it what it needs! #lıstentoyourbody #eatclean #eathealthy #eatcleanfood #eathealthyfood #comidalimpa #sweetpotato #batatadoce #anorexia #anorexianervosa #breakfast #myjourneywithanorexia
CARING FOR MY HOUSE I moved here alone and as I work online I can live anywhere!Unfortunately my husband can’t come yet for a while so everything has to be done by me! Today I removed the grass that was growing right next to the wall. I love to do many things at the same time. In this case I removed the grass, took some sun and did an upper body workout! Three things at the same time! Felt quite happy with that! #mylifewithanorexia #myanorexiajourney #myjourneywithanorexia #takingcareofmyhouse #myhouse #adifferentkindofexercise #hoeing #hoeingainteasy #hoeingthegrass