Co-regulation is the process through which children develop the ability to soothe and manage their distressing emotions and sensations. But guess what? We never stop co-regulating. Adults need it too - just less than children.
These were the findings of a report entitled from "Co-Regulation From Birth Through Young Adulthood: A Practice Brief" by Duke University & University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. The researchers noted that ‘effective’ co-regulation required three things:
1. Responsive relationships include things like:
* Responding to needs/wants
* Giving additional support in times of stress
* Open communication
* Interest in the other's world
* Respect (including boundaries)
2. A structured environment includes things such as:
* Physical safety
* Emotional safety
* Consistent, predictable routines
* Clear behavioural expectations
* Logical consequences
* Time and space to calm down
3. And lastly, communicating skills means doing the following with your kids:
* Modelling behaviour
* Teaching
* Supporting / reinforcing
* Prompting
* And proving opportunities for practice
This is great news! Because it is so DOABLE. Just a few things in each category can create safe, trusting, co-regulating environments unique to your home.
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