: I learned long ago that "it is," as they say, "what it is." Almost 54 years in, and it shows no sign of abating but more like escalating, whether it's from the young, the old, and all in between. As I warned @crystalgailrapoza a while back, "People gonna people." -- #aspielife #neurallyatypical #actuallyautistic #definitelydisabled #experience #observation
: And it isn't a matter of my or other autistics being unemotional, cold, or whatever. For me at least, it's a matter of "It's the data; it's the pattern". I understand the differences between facts and how I feel about them. It's native to me. Hell, most patterns I see and extrapolations and probabilities I see, I actively dislike, and it's even worse, often exponentially so, that they're not often wrong and that in some cases they don't cover the half of it (due to lack of information, not lack of imagination/"foreseeing"). #aspielife #neurallyatypical #actuallyautistic #residentalien #theweirdkid
: This is my heard-earned and lamented experience and my observation over the decades. And it does not apply only to romantic #relationships. #neurallyatypical #actuallyautistic #residentalien #theweirdkid
: from a goodly while back on my original account here on IG years ago #neurallyatypical #actuallyautistic #residentalien
: I purchased two bed sheet sets for my new bed since snapping tgis photo last week, but I wanted to provide a visual answer to the question “How minimalist are you?” This is my bedroom. There are a mishmash of wall shelves on another wall and a chest of drawers built into another wall. Oh, and I bought a cheap 4’x6’ area rug for the floor by the bed. That’s it. #neurallyatypical #residentalien #theweirdkid
: I don’t mean that I do not evolve or develop in any ways, just that I am consistent. I do not present energy that I cannot maintain. I do not bait-and-switch. I don’t lie by omission. If they say I’m not going to do something, don’t do it. If I say I will do something, I will do it or go down swinging. Perfect? No. Consistent. Affirmative. #experience #observación #neurallyatypical #actuallyautistic #residentalien #theweirdkid
: This is me just sitting here autisticking… autisting? … auting? Whichever. The contrast is real IRL, BTW. #neurallyatypical #actuallyautistic #residentalien #theweirdkid #glassesless
: Just another reason we had a species cannot have nice things. And no, this is not mostly/only a mental problem, a woman, problem, white problem, a black problem, a Muslim problem, a Jewish problem, a liberal problem, a conservative problem, or whatever. It is a people problem, just plain old people, garden-variety run-of-the-mill. #experience #observation #neurallyatypical #residentalien #theweirdkid
: I base this statement on decades of experience and observation. Or perhaps I should have a handler/interpreter. #neurallyatypical #actuallyautistic #residentalien #theweirdkid #thedisasterautist
: I base this statement on decades of experience and observation. Or perhaps I should have a handler/interpreter. #neurallyatypical #actuallyautistic #residentalien #theweirdkid #thedisasterautist
Part of my neural atypicality is a ridiculous memory. I remember things that other people don’t, which causes problems. I often don’t even try to remember things, and that’s because much of my life is always in front of my mind’s eye on its own. It’s like watching and hearing what’s playing on TV while you’re changing channels every few seconds or less. It isn’t just memories that run across my mental screen. Information does as well, as do iterations, extrapolations, and recalculations as new data comes in. Also, flights of fancy. I cannot hide from myself. I was 43 when I found out that not everyone else is like this. This is all part of why I often feel as if the rest of life moves in slo-mo. #neurallyatypical #actuallyautistic #involuntaryrecall #involuntarycalculator #residentalien #theweirdkid
: Part of my neural atypicality is a ridiculous memory. I remember things that other people don’t, which causes problems. I often don’t even try to remember things, and that’s because much of my life is always in front of my mind’s eye on its own. It’s like watching and hearing what’s playing on TV while you’re changing channels every few seconds or less. It isn’t just memories that run across my mental screen. Information does as well, as do iterations, extrapolations, and recalculations as new data comes in. Also, flights of fancy. I cannot hide from myself. I was 43 when I found out that not everyone else is like this. This is all part of why I often feel as if the rest of life moves in slo-mo. #neurallyatypical #actuallyautistic #involuntaryrecall #involuntarycalculator #residentalien #theweirdkid
: I was shaving recently, and when I was almost finished and only had left the mustache to get rid of, I got a sudden flash of inspiration to perhaps cosplay J. Jonah Jameson. Since then I have been practicing yelling, “PARRKERRR!” #nerd #glassesed #neurallyatypical
: New Year, new me? 😄 No. New year, same me, just older, singler, and even moar autistic. If you didn’t already expect this, then you have been warned. #glassesed #neurallyatypical #actuallyautistic #residentalien #theweirdkid
: I am writing horror stuffs, as one does. #glassesed #neurallyatypical #spookykids #screenwriting #screenstagram
: It is not your responsibility if people are not clear, and that includes them being purposefully not clear. The sooner you establish this as a personal boundary, the sooner your time will start being wasted by a lot of people. It is the same for them as it is for you yourself, that if you want someone to have/act on information… you must provide that information. #AspieLife #protip #neurallyatypical #actuallyautistic #residentalien #theweirdkid #experience #observation #life
Executive dysfunction friendships are perfect 💕 find a friend with mental diversity, no one can understand your authenticity like someone else who has no impulse control on most days and dysfunction for only reasons they can understand 💕 I will call my friend to help motivate me with often with the tiniest of tasks I cannot get past the adhd paralysis hump. A friend with this wired thought pattern can understand and in fact LOVES to help and be needed ❤️ acts of service are often our love language for this reason. I am at the stage of my life where I am embracing my uniqueness and finally releasing the shame that I put on myself and trying to help others’ my content will change here to be authentic during this journey. #adhdacceptance #adhd #adhdlife #adhdawareness #autismacceptance #adhdproblems #neurodiversity #adhdadult #adhdisreal #adhdtribe #adhdsupport #adhdbrain #autism #adultadhd #neurodivergent #adhdmom #adhdlove #adhdparent #adhdadvocate #adhdkid #adhdexplained #adhder #adhdpride #shareyourautismstory #autisticmemes #adhdhelp #autismacceptanceeveryday #shareyourautism #actuallyautistic #neurallyatypical
: Really Good Day was really good. Time now for to sleeps. #glassesless #neurallyatypical #autustic #actuallyautistic #residentalien #theweirdkid
: There is a colossal difference between wanting/wishing something about yourself was true and it actually being true. There is not a fine line between “best foot forward” and outright deception. It’s more of a very large field. Also, if you are deceiving yourself, then you will deceive others as a matter of course. #relationships #fronting #postingup #behavior #experience #observation #neurallyatypical #actuallyautistic #AspieLife #residentalien #theweirdkid
: o hai #iseewhatyoudidthere #glassesed #neurallyatypical #residentalien #theweirdkid
#truefact #neurallyatypical #actuallyautistic #residentalien #theweirdkid
#rules #guidelines #situationallyflexible #notreallyrules — #AspieLife #neurallyatypical #actuallyautistic #residentalien #theweirdkid
: I’m glad researchers have finally published what my neurologists diagnosed told he was happening in my brain way back in 1997. Note: As of last summer, it’s still happening. — My brain has long been known, not to obey the generally accepted neural speed limit. #neurallyatypical #actuallyautistic #residentalien #theweirdkid
: Felt uber-nerdy. Probably won’t delete later. #glassesed #neurallyatypical #residentalien #theweirdkid
: proofish of life-ish I’m settling in for the next couple of months here at the digs. Internet access is limited, as is mah budget. I have a record player and plenty of albums, though. I also have my DVD and Blu-ray library. I have a decent selection of my book collection here. I’m getting moar writing done. No gym for a while, at least until I can get a new vehicle or find rides to and fro. I’m exercising as I can here at the house and going for new small amount of #walkies🐾 each day. That’s the update. #glassesed #neurallyatypical #actuallyautistic #residentalien #theweirdkid
: proofish of life-ish #neurallyatypical #actuallyautistic #residentalien #theweirdkid #glassesed #bespectacled
: For several years now I have discussed with my therapist and a longtime autistic friend that mayhaps I am like a program that runs on hardware. By that I mean, I can and do fulfill all of the functions of my programming, including learn and adjust, but I do not have access to my own kernel. (For the record, just in case anyone’s getting ideas, I fully believe the Simulation Hypothesis is entire bullshit, total nonsense, pop philosophy disguised as scientific. It’s stupid even as a thought experiment, unless you’re high AF or trying to impress the ignorant.) 🤷♂️👽 #justathought #behavior #observation #experience #neurallyatypical #actuallyautistic #residentalien #theweirdkid
: I realize this myself when I was in my early 20s, which was when I wrote it. Nobody is responsible for your self-awareness but you. Nobody is responsible for what you do with your self-awareness but you. My direct personal experience, and my observation over thirty years now is that the more self-awareness you have, the less you complain about things being other people’s fault. I mean that as in blaming other people for the things that you do, not to mention their reacting poorly to your bad decisions/behavior. — Self-awareness is very fashionable. If it wasn’t, then, so many people wouldn’t be faking that they have it. What people don’t like about it, actual self awareness, is there a unavoidable responsibility that comes with it. Responsibility for one’s own behavior and decisions is deeply unfashionable. #experience #observation #behavior #personal #residentalien #neurallyatypical #theweirdkid
: proofish of life-ish #ohai #glassesed #neurallyatypical #residentalien #theweirdkid
: No, I don’t mean periodic lapses or things going awry due to unforeseen circumstances or so-called Act of God. Nobody bat a thousand. I am talking about the reliably situationally flexible. I get it. I have a strange relationship myself with identity, ego, and emotions. I am always just a bit out of things with the conventional wisdom or the Way Things Are Done. The bulk of folks don’t usually do it on purpose but casually by reflex, if that makes sense. Some of those folks totally do it on purpose sometimes, and there are some people who do it on purpose habitually. (I try to avoid the latter.) It makes no small number of relationships and interactions in general bumpy, even sometimes rocky or worse. Things can get difficult to navigate out of the blue. — It’s just on my mind lately this past year or so. Lots of really crummy, huge stuff and small, what some might consider Nerf, stuff has gone down. It’s difficult to navigate and more difficult to talk with people about. Blar, I guess. 🤷♂️ #experience #observation #AspieLife #neurallyatypical #actuallyautistic #residentalien #theweirdkid #personal
: I am way tired, and so I am going to get ready to go to bed, as when does when one is way tired. I’ve got my weird and cosmic horror audio stories lined up and ready to go. They will go well with this thunderstorm approaching. It’s pretty cool, the life of a #spookykid. #glassesed #neurallyatypical #residentalien #theweirdkid #spookykids
#experience #observation #AskAnAspie #behavior #ego #identity #neurallyatypical #actuallyautistic #residentalien #theweirdkid
: The most common feedback I get from people in general, including both the people that like me and those that actually dislike me, is that I am too intense and that my thought processes are difficult to follow. Another very common problem I am told is that I do not express big enough emotions when people are expressing big emotions. This especially applies to negative emotions. Since I don’t tend to react proportionally to their own emotions on whatever things might be, they tell me that they do not think I an “hearing” them and/or am dismissing their feelings or even them as people. The list goes on, but these have been the biggies. — There is nothing to do about it. Historically, nothing has worked, any kind of adjustment I attempt to make. At 53 in six days I accept this as a fait accompli. It is neither a good thing nor a bad thing. It’s just a thing. #AspieLife #neurallyatypical #actuallyautistic #residentalien #theweirdkid
: It doesn’t help at all either that performativity has beenthe new black since at least the 1990s. It’s almost as if many people’s identities rely on devoted and constant opposition to other people and securing at least the appearance of conformity. The awful part is really that the great majority of it usually has nothing to do with other people but with their own sense of self and purpose. It isn’t any different at all then when CEOs and crypto Bros Nater on and on and on and on and on and on about “if you aren’t growing market share, then you are losing”, “ if you aren’t giving it 9414% 25 hours a day eight days a week 500 days a year, then you are going to lose everything to someone who does”, and shit like that. — Those folks are going to continually be unhappy because the world is not going to conform immediately reading all that slowly to their desires, and they’re going to blame everybody else. They already do. That is no way to live, but it’s apparently the very fashionable one. #experience #observation #personal #neurallyatypical #actuallyautistic #residentalien #theweirdkid
The two most consistently received advices I get about dating and relationships are: Be yourself, and Well, you have to lie a little. They call it “best foot forward”, and usually it’s lies. People act like what they wish they really acted like, and at some point the wheels fall off of that wagon. Being myself, doesn’t do any good getting dates, and I am really crap at not being me. So in the last year and a half I have come to terms with the fact that I will be single for the duration. That’s probably for the best for everyone involved. #AspieLife #neurallyatypical #actuallyautistic #residentalien #theweirdkid
: Yep. #glassesed #neurallyatypical #residentalien #theweirdkid
: I wrote this back in 2015. It was something I'd thought for a good many years prior to that, but there was stuff that happened that prompted me to get it into writing and not just keep it in my noggin. #selfawareness #mentalhealth #growth #habit #mistakes #life #experience #observation #residentalien #neurallyatypical #theweirdkid #thedisasterautist
: a bit of fun from a while back #play #games #movies #neurallyatypical #actuallyautistic #residentalien #thewweirdkid
: one from the vaults #experience #observation #people #behavior #knowledge #understanding #ohwell #neurallyatypical #residentalien #theweirdkid
: one from the vaults #AspieLife #DisabledLife #actuallydisabled #actuallyautistic #neurallyatypical #residentalien #theweirdkid #experience #observation
: I have covered this obliquely before, during mention of and discussion of other things. I thought it might be time to put it out there plainly on its own. — Most people, in my experience and observation over the decades, tend to be quite insecure about what they don’t know and even about but they do know or feel they know or think they should know and/or what other people feel and/or think they should know or not know. So it becomes problematic, socially, and politically for someone not only to know and understand what other people do not, but also to do it effortlessly or to seem to do it effortlessly. — Speaking for myself, I can explain physics concepts, including various aspects of quantum physics, in plain language to people who have little to no understanding of it and can subsequently answer all kinds of questions to rather deep levels on the subject(s). I can do that on several subjects and not simply ones having to do with science. Also, I have difficulty at all discerning whether or not someone is flirting with me or is angry with me in conversation. I have also never managed to make rice that wasn’t a brick when it was finished cooking or soup when it was finished cooking. There are trade-offs is what I’m saying, but they go unseen because of all the “big stuff” others don’t like. 🤷♂️ #neurallyatypical #actuallyautistic #residentalien #theweirdkid
#ohai #glassesless #neurallyatypical #actuallyautistic #residentalien #theweirdkid
: Back when I had teh long hurr. (It's doin a grow-out again, though.) #glassesed #neurallyatypical #residentalien #theweirdkid
: The new digs are coming together slowly but surely. #glassesed #nerd #residentalien #theweirdkid #neurallyatypical
: The new digs are coming together slowly but surely. #glassesed #nerd #residentalien #theweirdkid #neurallyatypical
#experience #observation #people #bias #behavior #expectations #neurotypical #neurallyatypical — #actuallyautistic #residentalien #theweirdkid
#nerdalert #glassesed #neurallyatypical #residentalien #theweirdkid
#protip from an oldish #neurallyatypical human-type person. Don’t be the well others return to to drain repeatedly so they can head back out when the next opportunities comes along. #AspieLife #actuallyautistic #residentalien #theweirdkid #experience
#protip from an oldish #neurallyatypical human-type person. Don’t be the well others return to to drain repeatedly so they can head back out when the next opportunities comes along. #AspieLife #actuallyautistic #residentalien #theweirdkid #experience
: Okiedokie then. Six hours awake, and I have been overproductive. Not only I’ve done all the things I’d planned to do today. I’ve also finished out loose ends from the week prior. It’s onlt 7.10 AM EST now. #glassesed #neurallyatypical #residentalien #theweirdkid #whoopsie
: I may be a rebel tonight and stay up an hour or two past my bedtime. Scandalous, I know, but i do enjoy doin a surprise scandal every now and again, give the establishment a bit of a jolt. You know how it is. #glassesed #neurallyatypical #actuallyautistic #residentalien #theweirdkid
: Still not bad for a guy who’s broken bones in this wrist twice and once in this hand. It’s still only about half as much as I could bend my hand back fifteen years ago, but still… Thanks, #EhlersDanlos! #glassesed #neurallyatypical #residentalien #theweirdkid
: from my original IG back in 2015, less than a year after my dx #neurallyatypical #actuallyautistic #residentalien #theweirdkid
: accurate AF #neurallyatypical #actuallyautistic #residentalien #theweirdkid #punctuality
: It’s weird but at the same time predictable. It isn’t stupidity either, at least not by and large. It’s truly a cultural thing. What can suck for #autistics is that we may not have the facial expressons, vocalizations, and/or body language that is the cultural or subcultural convention. Hilarity and/or tragedy tends to ensue. #experience #observation #people #behavior #expectations #neurallyatypical #actuallyautistic #residentalien #theweirdkid
: It’s weird but at the same time predictable. It isn’t stupidity either, at least not by and large. It’s truly a cultural thing. What can suck for #autistics is that we may not have the facial expressons, vocalizations, and/or body language that is the cultural or subcultural convention. Hilarity and/or tragedy tends to ensue. #experience #observation #people #behavior #expectations #neurallyatypical #actuallyautistic #residentalien #theweirdkid
: It’s weird but at the same time predictable. It isn’t stupidity either, at least not by and large. It’s truly a cultural thing. What can suck for #autistics is that we may not have the facial expressons, vocalizations, and/or body language that is the cultural or subcultural convention. Hilarity and/or tragedy tends to ensue. #experience #observation #people #behavior #expectations #neurallyatypical #actuallyautistic #residentalien #theweirdkid
: I am wearing the hat I bought at the beach along with a very similar one for mah grandmunchkin so that we could be twinsies. #glassesed #neurallyatypical #residentalien #theweirdkid
: I won't ever be married again or likely even date again, but this is kinda what it's like being with me. #seen #personallyattacked #neurallyatypical #actuallyautistic #residentalien #theweirdkid #mustlovedogs
: Weather’s quite cozy here. A bit of a hazybright glare going because of the clouds, yeah, but everything else is perfect. 🌥️🏝️🤓 #neurallyatypical #residentalien #theweirdkid #glassesed
: Got mah hurr did. #neurallyatypical #TeamPurple #residentalien #theweirdkid #glassesed
: This may not be every Aspie's life, but is indeed my #AspieLife. #experience #neurallyatypical #actuallyautistic #theweirdkid
: At 52 now, I don’t tend to say anything about things about what I already know when people apologize. I stopped doing that in my mid-thirties. Family, friends, colleagues, collaborators, coworkers, acquaintances, and all, I just accept the apologies most of the time. Because virtually nobody wants to make right what they did. They just want to be absolved. I can tell who wants to genuinely make amends, and I can tell because of one key behavior, just one, a very simple one. — It makes absolutely no difference to call people out fully for their shit and attempt to hold them personally accountable if you don’t have any reasonable, practical way of enforcing anything. I have no such power, authority, or influence. I am not interested in drama. I reserve that kind of energy for when the stakes are real, and when, and if that’s the case, which it rarely ever is, that’s when people really do not like finding me at home. #AspieLife #halfcenturion #neurallyatypical #actuallyautistic #residentalien #theweirdkid #thedisasterautist
: At 52 now, I don’t tend to say anything about things about what I already know when people apologize. I stopped doing that in my mid-thirties. Family, friends, colleagues, collaborators, coworkers, acquaintances, and all, I just accept the apologies most of the time. Because virtually nobody wants to make right what they did. They just want to be absolved. I can tell who wants to genuinely make amends, and I can tell because of one key behavior, just one, a very simple one. — It makes absolutely no difference to call people out fully for their shit and attempt to hold them personally accountable if you don’t have any reasonable, practical way of enforcing anything. I have no such power, authority, or influence. I am not interested in drama. I reserve that kind of energy for when the stakes are real, and when, and if that’s the case, which it rarely ever is, that’s when people really do not like finding me at home. #AspieLife #halfcenturion #neurallyatypical #actuallyautistic #residentalien #theweirdkid #thedisasterautist
: It’s the same in re: sports teams and political parties. There is a sense of community people find in it all, yes, but those communities tend to be adversarial to others. For example: People Who Love The Star Wars Sequel Trilogy vs. People Who Do Not; People Who Still Like Harry Potter and JK Rowling vs. People Who No Longer Do: and Dallas Cowboys Fans and [Any Other NFL Team] Fans. — I completely understand escapism and also that escapism is temporary, not permanent unless one is in an institution of some sort or fabulously wealthy. — In my decades, I have seen people and social groups spectacularly self-destruct just as often as I have seen them come together over such things. I have discussed it with a great many people to whom it’s happened and with clinical psychologists and sociologists. Generally, it is reckoned simply to be grounded in that humans as a species are social creatures. I am one such as well, but this aspect of it seems to be beyond me. Hence my hashtag: #theweirdkid. 🤷♂️ #neurallyatypical #actuallyautistic #residentalien
: It’s the same in re: sports teams and political parties. There is a sense of community people find in it all, yes, but those communities tend to be adversarial to others. For example: People Who Love The Star Wars Sequel Trilogy vs. People Who Do Not; People Who Still Like Harry Potter and JK Rowling vs. People Who No Longer Do: and Dallas Cowboys Fans and [Any Other NFL Team] Fans. — I completely understand escapism and also that escapism is temporary, not permanent unless one is in an institution of some sort or fabulously wealthy. — In my decades, I have seen people and social groups spectacularly self-destruct just as often as I have seen them come together over such things. I have discussed it with a great many people to whom it’s happened and with clinical psychologists and sociologists. Generally, it is reckoned simply to be grounded in that humans as a species are social creatures. I am one such as well, but this aspect of it seems to be beyond me. Hence my hashtag: #theweirdkid. 🤷♂️ #neurallyatypical #actuallyautistic #residentalien