This was written 12 months ago and I speaks well. I want to honour me I’m honouring me This afternoon I had to deal with stuff around the past and had to address before self diagnosis and after with autism. It wasn’t comfortable first of all as I knew if I end up in many situations they expect my pre diagnosis me to reply or to arrive and simply put as each day goes more and more I can’t be others versions of me. After all I did it for over 60 years - isn’t that long enough following your rules but what fitted in. Surely I’m now allowed time to be autistic me. The one many rejected- walked away from - talk to others about - wished he’d shut up - wish he’d agree for once. Well I do agree now with me that I need to be happier - much much happier. I met a few people a few weeks ago and I now know they’re all happy - he’s back in he fold - back with the whānau. The truth is I can’t return because the person who you wish to returned was your version of me. So often I felt like an outsider. The interloper. The one who seems to be outta step. And for way too long I thought - know I was totally convince - they were right and who “ I was” wasn’t ok. So constantly each time - each time - I’d try to figure out the rules and that alone was totally exhausting. So back to honouring me That’s what I want to do. I deserve to be honoured by myself and except i’m enough always. Not right or wrong not perfect but perfectly enough. I’m smart intelligent loving caring kind handsome loyal and many other beautiful things. So I’m going to honour that Garry and welcome him back from way too many dark times dark days hard struggle. I honour my role in others lives as being about growth and change and beauty - about creating art and helping us connect to be truly open and honest and respect difference as a way to live. Today I honour me #geebeejaycreations #honour #respect #care #kindness #beauty #creativity #wairua #aroha #love #selfrespect #selfknowledge #selflove #selfaroha #writer #photographer #abstractphotography #abstractartist #autism #autistic #autismawareness #autismacceptance #growth #cptsd #olderartists #over65 #aotearoa #kiwi #kiwiartist #adhd
Me trying to navigate others expectations of me #geebeejaycreations #me #self #selfie #selfgrowth #selflove #selfrespect #aotearoa #kiwi #kiwiartist #over65 #abstractart #abstractartist #contemporyart #modernart #love #aroha #autistic #autism #adhd #cptsd
Put that fear down the drain Grab a strong and happy refrain Dig down to the sun and the plain Seek the light never the disdain Be truthful and wise once again Get on the always “I am strong” train No way and never to be contained Stand tall in the cue to complain Hey you I am me being sustained Not by your hard hitting cane No longer to be in your forever pain Your echoes will never be my life remains Walking in my life without your blood stains Put that fear down the drain GeeBeeJay Creations #geebeejaycreations #fear #downthedrain #selfcare #selflove #selfaroha #aroha #manaki #tautoko #kaupapa #philosophy #growth #change #aotearoa #newzealand #beyourself #beliveinyourself #tamariki #teao #partnership #autism #autistic #adhd #cptsd
Walk into the world of wairua and there you will find pieces of the puzzle of self. Not at all lost but waiting for you to be ready. When will you be ready ? #geebeejaycreations #eye #wairua #pieces #puzzle #lost #found #me #you #usall #beready #findyourself #waiting #patience #selfjourney #pathways #aotearoa #kiwi #over65 #photography #abstract #abstractphotography #photographer #light #sun #nirvana #autism #autistic #adhd #cptsd
What do you see ? I see the whenua The dirt The ground Being grounded. I don’t have a sense of smell I could smell it A place to stand freely To speak from To think on To grow To change That’s how I see this GeeBeeJay Creations April 2021 #geebeejaycreations #dirt #whenua #smell #stand #learn #grow #speak #freely #free #grounded #people #kindness #love #selfcare #lostconnections #ancestralhealing #tipuna #culture #tikanga #aotearoa #newzealand #cptsd #autism #autistic #adhd
Likes v words GeeBeeJay Creations #geebeejaycreations #words #likes #smily #writewords #writtenword #speak #writeyourstory #moderwaysofworking #wordforward #write #bringyoursoul #beyourself #removefear #aotearoanz #autism #autistic #adhd #cptsd
We have to stop having victims - of invisible rules written by nobody but used by everybody to control and kill our uniqueness. Time to break the cycle of hurt. #geebeejaycreations #abuse #control #society #invisiblerules #hurt #confusion #depression #lonliness #alone #alonequotes #memes #aotearoa #photogrsphicartist #photography #words #uniqueness #unique #olderartists #over65 #selfcare #love #aroha #autism #autistic #adhd #cptsd
The Rope Life Intertwined Pulled together inside and out Out then in Outside holding Inside straining Life wears away Wears away at the fabric Fabric of life Rope Intertwined Ready to unravel Given any spot in time Any space you can find Hold the strands Tight as tight Winds of the universe Pluck away at the ends Rich flowing hair Seems to flow Today so much light Tomorrow is not known Darkness hovers, Seeks a chance To unravel the rope Rope Life Now there’s a thought GeeBee Jay Creations 2014 #geebeejaycreations #writer #write #kaituhi #creation #creativity #autism #autistic #adhd #cptsd
When the path way is long When it all seems such a struggle When head wants to talk about doom and gloom When the shoulders are heavy with concern and worry When the way forward seems oh so very bleak When friends seems to not exist When the body feels worn tattered When you have almost given up on others Remember the options given to you so often Remember the flowers and the trees Remember the long blue skys Remember the hug given and still promised Remember it is ok to falter Remember it is ok to feel the dark Remember also that it is not good to stay Remember that you are loved in so many ways Remember it is ok to sit sometimes and watch the parade GeeBeeJay Creations #geebeejaycreations #pathway #forward #poetry #writer #write #photo #photographer #abstractartist #autism #autistic #aotearoa #remember #remembrance #parade #olderartists #over65 #love #aroha #belief #adhd #cptsd
Yes please. It’s as easy to build bridges to each other than walls to seperate us. Life is full of choices. #geebeejaycreations #bridges #bridge #walls #connections #connect #hikoi #journey #abstractphotography #abstract #photographer #photo #autism #autistic #aotearoa #olderartists #over65 #adhd #cptsd
Finding self is a road trip we all need to be on and it lasts a life time. The road is pitted with many obstacles all teaching us new things about ourselves. Don’t be scared of them. Welcome them and be warm in it teaching. Embrace all aspects of each moment. Many don’t have the privilege of continuing the journey. And always know the light you create is lighting someone else’s pathway. GeeBeeJay Creations April 2019 #geebeejaycreations #journey #findself #selfacceptance #road #pathway #light #autism #autistic #abstractartist #abstractphotography #writer #words #growth #learning #aotearoa #olderartists #over65 #photography #photoart #adhd #cptsd
As the shadows of night seek me Loneliness enters the starting gate I’m ready to aid your way Darkness smiles Thanks loneliness for this victim Tiredness joins in the applause Exhaustion ready to be tagged in Smiling is aroha Smiling is wairua Smiling is all the light Noises of joy from light camp Shadows Darkness not ready to give in Shadows sing an early victory song Still tipuna warmly embrace Not ready to allow dark into play To slay my go forward day Light is my torch To soothe my way I’m aware of you dark Of you too shadows No invitation Will I from dark do I wish to accept GeeBeeJay Creations #invitations #dark #shadows #shadow #light #torch #geebeejaycreations #light #fight #aroha #love #lonliness #alone #autism #autistic #aotearoa #abstract #abstractphotography #photographer #olderartists #over65 #smile #adhd #cptsd
• #empty #endometriosis #enmeshment #entangled #entanglement #entanglements #experience #facebookhacked #facebookrecovery #familyabuse #familyconflict #familydynamics #familysystems #fatherwound #fawn #fears #feelings #feminism #feminist #feministkilljoy #fighter #financialabuse #forourchlidren #geebeejaycreations #generationalhealing #generationaltrauma #gentleparenting #genxers #genxmom #genxwoman
Your own Make your own music Sing your own songs Write your own words Walk your own journey Dance your own dance Smile your own smile Hug your own self Be happy with your own way GeeBeeJay Creations #geebeejaycreations #yourown #music #smile #singyoursong #beyou #self #selfcare #selflove #selfaroha #love #aroha #aotearoa #kiwi #abstractphotography #photographer #memes #autism #sutistic #adhd #cptsd
Autism awareness It’s my life Not a day Not a month I’m aware Are you ? GeeBeeJay Creations #geebeejaycreations #autism #autistic #awareness #aware #mylife #doyouknowme #abstractconnections #abstractphotography #photoart #photography #memes #words #getinformed #aotearoa #olderartists #over65
Becomes more and more appropriate each moment of each day. #geebeejaycreations #me #self #myself #mystory #selfbelief #selflove #selfaroha #selfcare #wairua #love #aroha #kiwi #over60 #buildingmoments #moments #darktolights #noshadows #light #momentum #memes #aotearoa #lonely #alone #autism #autistic #cptsd #adhd
Words are cheap and tossed around like confetti. Actions are much harder to find and a soft hand on a struggling shoulder even harder to find. GeeBeeJay Creations #geebeejaycreations #memes #meme #words #actionsspeaklouderthanwords #actionsspeak #actions #softhand #gentle #gentlehands #love #aroha #aotearoa #kiwi #kiwiart #contemporyart #photography #photo #autism #autistic #adhd #cptsd
This photo brings many thoughts and words about our personal journeys. Rather than me saying what mine are I’d love to hear from others what words of wisdom would you see this evoking ? Looking forward to your thoughts - likes don’t help here. GeeBeeJay Creations #geebeejaycreations #tracks #railway #railwaytrack #steel #journey #ideas #rangiora #kiwi #kiwiphotographer #aotearoa #over60 #contemporyart #photographicart #autism #autistic #adhd #cptsd
I am rescued from what I am unsure Maybe from myself Maybe I am rescued from my past Rescued from a darker future Rescued from today To walk into tomorrow braver Maybe I’m being introduced to me Often I think I know me now Then as now I see not really To know yourself is to journey with self Have I been rescued Just maybe Change comes in many guises I am rescued to be me I stand in gratitude I stand in your teaching I am in light Shadows offer an old resting place I will stay in the rescued light I hope GeeBeeJay Creations #geebeejaycreations #rescue #rescued #past #future #light #brave #braver #journey #selfdiscovery #autism #autistic #abstractphotography #abstractartist #writer #writting #story #aotearoa #olderartists #over65 #colour #vibrancy #cptsd #adhd
Autistic I get lost in small talk. It’s like being lost deep in a forrest and no clear escape route. But no that’s not the worst now is it. I mean once u have escaped the bashing up starts, the self blame game. “Why did you say that s hit” “ ive told you before just say hi and stop” “ do you enjoy leaving a conversation hurting ?” How many more times do you have to learn they don’t give a s hit about how you feel or your opinion on that subject” “But I just wanted to explain” ( this said in tears and hurting like h ell) I was not aware of autism most certainly no idea I wasn’t “ normal” although I tired hard to fit so many versions of me I thought others wanted me to be to be part of that group. Today I’m learning more about lonely and safety. I don’t know the future of my life after self diagnosing v late in life. The rooms about autism are one of the few places I feel kinda safe. I’m definitely tired of feeling like s hit too often - somehow that has to stop. Neruotypical people need to stop the bullying. #geebeejaycreations #autismawareness #autisticmemes #autism #autisticadult #asd #hurting #struggling #lonely #isolated #confused #selfdiagnosis #beinghonest #aotearoa #bashingmyself #deephurt #love #aroha #selflove #selfaroha #selfawareness #selfknowledge #abstractartist #sbstractphotography #writer #words #writeyourstory #speakyourself #olderartists #over65
I’d rather leave them behind and create my circus full of balloons glitter multi coloured streamers and loud lively music announcing to the world I never died I was simply resting in others deep dark. I’m back indeed today tomorrow and all those glorious sun filled future days. I’m back and I creating a new place for us all to meet and light will be our normal and darkness sent on it’s never to return days Be dancing you all who felt were lost in despair as the light has returned and we will own its warmth in each crazy struggling painful place. Hence forward we will accept our rightful place in our warm richly deserving sun. Rise up from those places that offer no change no growth no you no me and be be be free continually and now. This is offered fiercely strongly determinedly gently and in pure softness. Here is you Here is the gift Let no one take it GeeBeeJay Creations #geebeejaycreations #poetry #words #writtenword #power #light #inspiration #riseup #speakup #findyourfreedom #walkinlight #growth #circus #glitter #streamers #aotearoa #autism #autistic #adhd
Life can seem mixed up Crazier every day Life is a tough business Make sure it’s your’s you’re living Being you is not easy In a world that pushes their norms Follow you Yes you’re gonna get things wrong That is you learning to be you Be beautiful unique you #geebeejaycreations #distortedart #abstractphotography #abstract #crazy #buildself #selflove #selfcare #selfawareness #vibrant #colours #rainbow #writer #write #poem #autism #autistic #olderartists #over65 #aotearoa #contemporyphotography #contempory #modernabstract #abstraction
Everyone can write. The trick is to write. Till you write how do you know if you can write? And when you write write to and for you. Empower the spirit that encompasses you. Don’t expect accolades and flowers to be thrown at your feet. These examples were not the writers first attempts at them speaking. Just deliver self to self and let others join in if they wish. #geebeejaycreations #writting #wrote #peotry #create #creations #creative #words #connections #joinin #autism #autistic #selfknowledge #selfcare #selflove #selfaroha #aotearoa #abstractphotography #abstractartist #photoart #wordart #kiwiartist #over65 #autismawareness