Book review: Book: Emma Author: Jane Austen Review: Emma is my top favourite novel by Jane Austen.. This is one of the most funniest work of Jane Austen. At the beginning of the book it take some time to understand and appreciate the subtle humour,wit and writing style but it gradually start to make snese. Emma Woodhouse is the principal character of the book.Emma is not like other heroines of Austen. She is beautiful, rich, clever ,witty, independent unlike other main characters of Austen novel she is quite a master of her own will. As Emma herself quote " I believe few married women are half as much mistress of their husband's house as I'm of Hatfield ". She is also vain, spoilt, deluded and always poke her nose into other people's buisness. This novel sets in beautiful English fictional town, Highbury. She is self proclaimed matchmaker, and her this talent brings lots of drama in the book. She befriend a young and naive girl named Harriet Smith to tries make a match for her which ends unexpectedly. Apart from these two there are multiple fantastic and brilliantly written characters like Mister Knightly,Jane Fairfax, Frank Churchill etc. This novel also subtly deals with the Regancy era's double standards, gender inequality, class politics, issues about marriage, social mobility, position of women in society (for example Emma is rich so she has the independence of choosing a life for herself, meanwhile Harriet and Jane doesn't have that privilege so their entire life is about becoming a accomplished lady and get marry if not become a poor governess) etc. Personally I love this novel because even today we can relate to Emma. Emma is a good person with flaws like all of us. She hurts pepole but without any bad intention. Once she realise her mistake she accept it and tries to mend it. A must read from my side. Tags:✨ #Janeausten #novel #regencyera #emma #darkacademia #softacademia #romantic #emmawoodhouse #anyataylorjoy #classics #oldbooks #englishliterature #read #books
ad | It’s mental health awareness week. There are always so many angles with which we can examine our mental health and this year, the theme chosen is movement. I played sports all through middle school and high school: volleyball and soccer mostly, but I also did one year of ‘competitive’ swimming. (Competitive is in apostrophes because I only meant to practice with the swim team for an injury recovery, and the coach would only let me if I did the meets too 😅) That aside, it became clear to me in my undergrad, that movement outside of organized sports might require some scheduling. It felt silly because I was used to practices after school and it didn’t require thought; I just knew I would move my body. But my mental health suffered in undergrad when I didn’t make time to expel the stress in the gym or in the pool. I tried all the gym buddies and instagram fitness challenges I could muster, but what it really required was making the time. I was a fan of time blocking in my undergrad because of the class schedules and so I put yoga class, open lap swim times, and times when I was near one of the university gyms into my planner just like I would a class. Because I know when I’m stressed, I’ll reason away moving my body in favor of sitting some more in front of a screen to get work done (or maybe have an anxiety spiral). What I wish my undergrad planner had was a feature I love in the @thedaydesigner planner: a goal section. There’s a venn diagram section that integrates values, passions, strengths along with a step by step break down of meeting your goals. For movement that could be researching nature trials around you for a day off, it might be signing up for a yoga class, it might be finding at home work outs that creatively use supplies you have at home (my favorite in undergrad was using textbooks as weights lol). There is of course so many layers/messages around movement & beauty standards & ableism & fatphobia, too much nuance for one post. I do encourage you to think about the theme and what tools you have to support movement and wellbeing. & share below! Planner & supplies were gifted 🤍 #daydesignerplanner #softacademia #planwithdaydesigner
Happy weekend everyone!!😊✨ 𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅Greetings from me and these new pair of earrings I designed and made this week🎀🤍 ✩"Key to your heart" ✩"Pearly Heart" ✩"Star Heart" ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥Price is 4.5€/pair + shipping ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥Handmade by me All these beauties are available in my shop that I have linked in my bio. Feel free to DM for further details. ✦ . . ˚ . . ✦ ˚ . ★⋆. . ˚ ✭ * ✦ . . ✦ ˚ ˚ .˚ ✭ . . ˚ . ✦ #coquettecore #cuteearrings #kawaiifashion #lolitastyle #animefashionfriends #romanticdoll #softacademia #softdoll #whimsicalfairy #angelcore #cottagecore #kawaii #nana #y2k #handmadejewellry #ribbons #hearts #stars #cutejewelleries
Praxis: “practice of an art, science, or skill; practical application of a theory” When I think about my praxis, I think of two foundational texts of my PhD: Toward Psychologies of Liberation by Mary Watkins & Helene Shulman Collective Trauma, Collective Healing by Jack Saul I first learned of the former text at a teach-in held in Seattle at the CHAZ / CHOP liberated zone during the summer of 2020 (📸 3-8). CHAZ / CHOP was not my first protest, I had protested at Michigan State when Planned Parenthood was initially defunded by 45, sat in with environmental groups on campus, and did participate in my first protest march there, after the murder of Trayvon Martin. CHAZ / CHOP was my first time really engaging with mutual aid and community care though. It fundamentally changed the way I practice as a therapist. It fundamentally shifted who I learn from. It was there that I internalized Audre Lorde’s famous words, “There is no such thing as a single-issue struggle because we do not live single-issue lives.” Truth be told, it’s part of why my PhD even exists - because I saw the limitations of therapy couches in the face of systemic problems. I hadn’t spent time around organizers before that time either. I learned about, and felt immense amount of gratitude for folks like the Seattle Bike Brigade, who protected us during marches at intersections and bridges. I got medical aid by a volunteer nurse after being tear gassed by police at the liberated zone. Sometimes I’ve thought maybe I was looking back through nostalgic lenses as community amongst lockdowns was a heightened experience. But I felt the same feelings at the encampment at Cambridge. Teach ins, food and supplies, sign making, books, dedicated media lesions, dedicated police contacts, people who guided passerbys around our delivery of demands march. There is connection and safety and love and energy (📸 1 & 2). These are my moments of praxis. I cannot read about trauma and systems and community care, know my roles as healer & artist, and ignore world events. And of course it will be my moments of praxis again & again when there’s organizing for Sudan and Congo and Haiti and Hawaii. #softacademia
Excerpts from a recent blog post I wrote for Voices of Academia (a platform for academics to talk about mental health - whole piece can be found via link in stories) 🫶🏼 “There is often talk in the media about healing your inner child, but far less talk about healing your inner teenager. When it comes to my time in academia as a doctoral student, I have found attending to the wounds of my inner teenager has allowed me to experience something else that is seldom spoken about: healing during a PhD. For me, my teenage years were the years that solidified some painful stories I told about my self-worth and value, particularly around education. I often felt like I needed to provide ‘value’ to my peers by doing the most work on group assignments; I thought it would mean more people would like me or want to be my friend. I realised consciously about that time that the adults in my world were only interested in what I accomplished, what my grades were, and the topics I was learning about; I began internalising that what I was doing was more important than who I was being as what I was curious about or confused about. My entire interior world, including my mental health and wellbeing, was less of a topic of conversation than school. Grades mattered, and because I was encouraged for ‘my best’ to be the same as ‘the best’ (as in the actual highest score), I felt like I failed other people for not being the smartest or the top-performing student in the room. My teenage years were not years of fostering self-confidence or self-esteem that was solid; rather there was praise for accomplishments and achievements in education that built a shaky foundation for my self-identity. I felt insecure, unconfident, and constantly seeking external validation to ‘reduce’ those feelings. People often consider healing to be a solitary or internal experience, but the healing here for me has happened in my ability to interact and respond differently. I get to heal, in small choices and big choices, the harmful narratives that came from education systems. Finally, I can support my teenage self in the way I wasn’t able to at the time.” #softacademia #academicvalidation #voicesofacademia
A librarian told me I looked librarian coded yesterday • • • • • • • • #librarian #librarianaestetic #greyhair #curlyhair #messyhair #curls #curlygirly #glasses #glassesgirl #academiaaesthetic #softacademia
#mentalhealthawarenessmonth starts today, and the platitudes that fit on infographics are going to be abound. So I guess I want to start this month with a message of compassion. If you don’t know how to ‘just be yourself’ ‘ask for help’ or ‘set boundaries’ that isn’t a personal failing of you. Relationally and intrapersonally, very few cultures - if any - set us up inherently with these skills and understandings. Boundaries for example, a topic that has found lots of steam in recent years, is still frequently framed as something others cross and puts responsibility on someone to act in alignment with a request we make. Rather than understanding a boundary as something to be considered, communicated, and upheld by the person who ultimately is just making a behavior request of another person. So an example “I have a boundary that I won’t stay in a conversation where someone is belittling me”. I can hope and request of the people I want to have a relationship with to not belittle me. However, I don’t have control of their actions so if they belittle me, it’s now my choice to leave the conversation. Potentially even the relationship depending on many other factors including frequency, how they respond to my boundary, how hurt my feelings are, etc. All that, is a LOT of hard internal work. It’s learning how to feel worthy of being respected, it’s learning conflict resolution skills, is learning the language of boundaries, it’s learning how to check in with feelings and then communicate them, and more. None of that fits on a pretty little infographic for mental health awareness month. So please keep that in mind when you see small reminders of advice and recommendations for caring for your mental health that are one sentence long. Remember these infographics do not know your family of origin, your culture, your history of trauma or abuse, your strengths, your support system, etc. They are trying to speak to a wide group of people at a time, and probably be hot topic-y for virality. Be compassionate to yourself if the advice doesn’t feel applicable to you or it doesn’t make sense or it feels too reductionistic - because it kind of is. ♥️ #softacademia
🖋🦢🔔 I went to a cafe to draw, little did I know they would have the most amazing view! 🔔🦢✒️ . . . . . . . #drawing #softacademia #asthetic #cathedral
Sespe Sunrise - apparently this is a pretty new rose in the US. The Mister sniffed this first this morning while I was watering and asked me what the rose that smells like powdered sugar was. It was this! I've never smelled anything like it! It'll be interesting to see how the scent develops as it opens and the plant grows. I must say I'm quite delighted with it! #sespesunrise #sespesunriserose #secretgarden #secretgardens #springgarden #romanticizeyourlife #cottagecorecommunity #whiteroses #cottagecore #cottageaesthetic #cottagecoreaesthetic #cozylife #softacademia #romanticacademia #softliving #herbgarden #flowergarden #cottagegarden #gardencore #cozygarden #southerngardens #pagangardener #gardenaesthetic #englishstylegarden #romanticgarden #softaesthetic #victorianhome #cozyhome #rosegarden #rosegardening
so basically i only read archeology books now... here's a sneak peek 👀 Haven't touched a fantasy/romance book in a month, sometimes I miss it sometimes I just feel too tired and full of uni stuff that I don't want to add anything else, but rather pull something away. Feel me? I haven't forgotten you, and I miss this community💖 recommend me something to read this summer! #aesthetic #books #archeology #softacademia #darkacademia #academia #unilife #bookstagram
The adultification of young people to be the vitality of social movements is our failing. I’ve been watching the beautiful protesting on campuses across the United States - dancing, speaking, praying, mourning, chanting, protecting each other. And all I can think about is how many of the young people on campuses right now are the ones who didn’t get high school proms and graduations because of COVID-19 public safety measures and now are not going to be able to attend college graduations either. How the generation who grew up with consistent active shooter drills applied that knowledge to barricading the police out because they were taught those skills instead of genocide history; they had to do that learning on their own time. How they witnessed police take 1 hour and 14 minutes to enter an elementary school with an active shooter and now police are storming right over to students praying to arrest them with no threat in sight. Engaged youth is important, of course. Young people, especially on college campuses have brought energy and determination to many causes. AND the responsibility should not fall onto them. As this stage of the genocide in Palestine enters 200 days, and people are pulling away from the advocacy that comes out of urgency and outrage, this is breathing new life into applying pressure to stop using tax dollars to fund genocide. They should be preparing for exams though, not protecting themselves from police while exercising their right to protest. It should not fall on their shoulders. They should not have to return to virtual classes (in the case of Columbia) because of their pressure for divestment. I spend a fair amount of time these days considering how to be a responsible elder to our children and young people. Abdicating to younger generations, for them to overwhelmingly hold the weight, is one of the farther things away from being a responsible elder that I can think of. [tough on systems, gentle on people] #softacademia #youngpeople #childhoodmatters
Finally launched my personal newsletter 📰🥳 I want this to be a space where anybody who is working on something, either large or small, can feel encouraged. Whether it’s writing a book, launching a creative project, designing a new corner of your home or apartment, moving to a new city, or just following your dreams in whatever capacity that may look like to you, this space is for you. I’ll try my best to keep it positive, but also keep it real. Life is not easy, but I believe when we’re honest with ourselves and those around us, that is when we see real progress. The first letter is for all my college/pre-grad school friends ! The most common inquiry I get on my website is how to get into Harvard so answered them in an evergreen blog post. Check it out at shaeomonijo.substack.com or the link in my bio ✨ . . . . #harvard #harvarduniversity #harvardalumni #softacademia #diversityinacademia #blackgrads #blackphd
💌 • • • • • • • • • • #academia #academiaaesthetic #chaoticacademia #cottagecore #cottagecoreaesthetic #deadpoetssociety #darkacademia #darkacademiaaesthetic #desiacademia #edgarallanpoe #harrypotter #hoziermemes #hozier #janeausten #killyourdarlings #litmemes #lightacademiaaesthetic #literaturememes #lightacademia #oscarwilde #poetrycommunity #prideandprejudice #poetry #romanticacademia #softacademia #softcore #taylorswift #textpost #tumblr #writingcommunity
💌 • • • • • • • • • • #academia #academiaaesthetic #chaoticacademia #cottagecore #cottagecoreaesthetic #deadpoetssociety #darkacademia #darkacademiaaesthetic #desiacademia #edgarallanpoe #harrypotter #hoziermemes #hozier #janeausten #killyourdarlings #litmemes #lightacademiaaesthetic #literaturememes #lightacademia #oscarwilde #poetrycommunity #prideandprejudice #poetry #romanticacademia #softacademia #softcore #taylorswift #textpost #tumblr #writingcommunity
q: what does your favorite reading spot/setup look like? i usually just read in bed—but i love to set the ambiance with a clean room, bed made with tons of blankets and pillows, so many candles burning it looks like i’m performing a seance, and a whimsical youtube video with crackling fire and rain sounds on the tv. ——— #booklovers #booksbooksbooks #bookstagram #aestheticreading #visualart #aestheticedits #aestheticphotos #academia #lightacademiaaesthetic #softacademia #classicacademia #cottagecore #cottagecoreaesthetic #bookobsessed #bookloversquotes #bookblog #readingcommunity #readersofig #mybookfeatures #lightacademia #bookishstyle #digitalcollage #photocollage #collagecommunity #creativecollage #collageoftheday #collage #bibliophile #aesthetic #aestheticism
Every once in awhile, in moments of uncertainty and anxiety, I start feeling like I am not doing enough or working hard enough. Yesterday, I wrote 600 words, read multiple chapters of two books to cite in my sand tray findings paper, responded to (some) emails, AND took a lunch break outside! I felt great during the day actually, one of those days where I was focused so much that I found myself surprised at the hour of the day as time was passing as I was working. But then on my hour walk home, I felt my chest tighten up and my stomach felt off and deep breaths took actual concentration. And all I could think about was how I feel like I’m behind and I’m in trouble to someone and I’m letting people down and I’m not doing enough. Guess how much evidence I have of any of that? Literally none. Like actually not one person had said I’m behind, in trouble, that they’re mad at me or I’ve disappointed them that day or any day recently. I am stressed though, and I’m spending hours of my day reading about how we have and have not responded in mass trauma events before. And how some people feel as though children aren’t actually impacted by an event itself, but rather they believe it’s the impact of the parents reactions on children - which I have so many qualms about. So it’s something to do with being impacted by my thesis. It’s also a job rejection for something I wasn’t even sure I wanted to do but thought I would see if I could be seen as qualified for the position. Which is less about the rejection itself this time and more about being honest with myself about how much time I want to spend applying to jobs I’m not even sure I want. So that’s not an easy internal environment to navigate either. And there is a time crunch, of course, but I am also creating urgency in places I don’t think I need it in yet. Which is a habit of old times. Here is what I’m still learning and practicing: I don’t need to create internally chaotic and stressful environments for my brain and body in order to get things done. Being proud of a day’s work is allowed and important. Anxiety & uncertainty 🌀s don’t get to win. #SoftAcademia #Anxiety
I love little vignettes. #secretgarden #secretgardens #clematis #wip #springgarden #romanticizeyourlife #cottagecorecommunity #nasturtium #cottagecore #cottageaesthetic #cottagecoreaesthetic #cozylife #softacademia #romanticacademia #softliving #herbgarden #flowergarden # #cottagegarden #gardencore #cozygarden #southerngardens #pagangardener #gardenaesthetic #englishstylegarden #romanticgarden #softaesthetic #victorianhome #cozyhome #rosegarden #gardenart
What I think your aesthetic + pride flags are based on your name - Marcus Requested by @hopelessdorks Flags in this post: Gay, Transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtqia #queer #pride #nameaesthetic #nameaesthetics #name #aesthetic #aesthetics #moodboard #marcus #gay #mlm #transgender #transmasc #indie #indiekid #soft #softboy #softie #softgrunge #melaniemartinez #snoopy #softcore #y2k #2000s #lightacademia #softacademia #colorfulacademia
Which is your favourite quote ? Swipe to read some of my current favourites. { Snowfall, Gulmarg , kashmir , sonmarg , Pahalgam, , kashmir diaries , Srinagar , scenic view , wellness , quotes , writer , motivational } #tulipgardenkashmir #cherryblossomseason #cherryblossomtree #softgirlaesthetic #softgirloutfits #softacademia #scenicviews #kashmirdiaries #kashmirvalley #pahalgam #pahalgamdiaries #gulmarg #sonmarg #snowfall #trekkingday #trekkinglife
Eight lessons from 28, nine words for 29 🥰🎂♥️✨ 8 lessons from 28 (1) The world is not better for it for you to exist quietly (2) How you feel around certain people, or in certain conversations, is valuable information to make informed decisions about company (3) There is no shortcut around uncertainty (4) Responsibility for getting your emotional needs met is collaborative (5) Compromise is not for what you know you need for your mental health & wellbeing (6) Ask more questions of yourself, than of advice from other people who don’t have the entire picture (7) You can actually trust people to be happy for your successes, allow your community to show up with you in that way too (8) Peace is a good enough reason to make a choice 9 words for what I want & hope for 29 (1) Aligned (2) Playful (3) Discerning (4) Nourished (5) Creative (6) Sustainable (emotionally and practically) (7) Connection (8) Clarity (9) Supported ✨🥳🎈🎂🥂♥️ #SoftAcademia #BirthdayGirl #29 #29birthday
🪶Cuypers Library @rijksmuseum . . . . . . . . . . . #amsterdam #amsterdamcity #travelblogger #softacademia #opulence #travelgram #netherlands #europe #jetset #beautifuldestinations #wanderlust #globetrotter #passionpassport #cntraveler #natgeotravel #museum #architecture #interiordesign #holland #voyaged #citybestviews #citytrip #wonderful_places #instatravel #travellingthroughtheworld #museum #darkacademia #library #rijksmuseum #museum #amsterdamworld #art
My garden has secret garden vibes. #secretgarden #secretgardens #workinprogress #wip #springgarden #romanticizeyourlife #cottagecorecommunity #slowliving #cottagecore #cottageaesthetic #cottagecoreaesthetic #cozylife #softacademia #romanticacademia #softliving #herbgarden #flowergarden # #cottagegarden #gardencore #cozygarden #southerngardens #pagangardener #gardenaesthetic #englishstylegarden #romanticgarden #softaesthetic #victorianhome #cozyhome #rosegarden #gardenart
I feel like Emily Dickinson would have worn Glossier You 💝
What’s your favourite colour? Pink is so cute and makes everything so much softer! 🤍🩷 🏷️ #pinkaesthetic #pinkacademia #softacademia #lightacademiaaesthetic #cutestationery #studyinspo #gcse #alevels
reminder💌 • • • • • • • • • • #academia #academiaaesthetic #chaoticacademia #cottagecore #cottagecoreaesthetic #deadpoetssociety #darkacademia #darkacademiaaesthetic #desiacademia #edgarallanpoe #harrypotter #hoziermemes #hozier #janeausten #killyourdarlings #litmemes #lightacademiaaesthetic #literaturememes #lightacademia #oscarwilde #poetrycommunity #prideandprejudice #poetry #romanticacademia #softacademia #softcore #taylorswift #textpost #tumblr #writingcommunity
To think I've been at uni for over three years now and this is the first time I've checked out physical copies of a book for my essay 🫣💛 #studygram #student #bookstagram #booklover #books #stydyinspo #studymood #studycommunity #studyblr #studymotivation #mindfullyacademic #academia #academic #softacademia #unilife
~Mystic Sensations~ Highlighting the power of subtle yet poignant Haiku poetry from one of the masters of the form. #haiku #soundpoetry #senseapoem #poetsoninstagram #poetoftheday #napowrimo2024 #poetrycommunity #softacademia #micropoetry
Sometimes I get caught up in the internalizing of a hardship, of thinking it is a failing of me or my emotional capacity or resilience, and don’t consider placing the weight on a structural flaw. The integration phase of a PhD, where you bring together your data with theory and situate it all in the context of ‘why the hell did you do this, why is it important, does it matter that you did it at all’, is complicated, heavy, existential. It is a period of time that is known to take a lot out of you and a big reason why the writing up year is where meeting attendance expectations and other responsibilities reduce for you to be able to focus on that. And it hit me the other day that having to apply for a job at this period of the PhD, the integration of your life in terms of what skills you have, what your interests are, where do you want to be, what kind of relationship do you have with the topic of your PhD, etc., is too much to do together. Not that it’s impossible (because many of us have to do it) but that it isn’t meant to be this way in its original conception. It’s a design flaw of today’s job market and academia culture and cost of living crisis and the necessity of self promotion that both the PhD integration and life integration to peruse next steps have to happen at the same time. And the fact that it’s hard for me - and hard for other people - is not an internal flaw on anyone’s behalf. It isn’t that I haven’t been reflective enough, thoughtful enough, creative enough, engaged enough, worked hard enough, did something interesting enough. There’s a relief in that, to be able to look at something being hard and acknowledging that it’s hard because the set up is challenging. That both things are not meant to happen at the same time. The need to balance is the product of our time and systems not putting people’s humanity and well being at the heart. And so I think that as I navigate these next few months, holding onto that truth that it’s hard because systemically it’s hard, is going to be a nice life raft for the spirals to come. #SoftAcademia #PhdDiaries #JobMarket
"I may have lost my heart, but not my self-control." ❤️ Tags: #bookreader #janeausten #emma #emmawoodhouse #regencyera #classics #literaturecourse #englishbooks #englishclassics #england #romance #softacademia #darkacademia #mrknightely #romaticacademia #literature #austen #love #bookclubindia #bookishcommunity #booklover #booknow #booksbooksbooks #reader
She’s trying to bloom just like the tulips in the background 🌷 💁♀️ { kashmir diaries , kashmir , tulip garden , Srinagar , tulips , scenic view } #tulipgardenkashmir #tulipgardensrinagar #srinagardiaries #srinagarkashmir #cherryblossomseason #cherryblossomtree #softgirlaesthetic #softgirloutfits #softacademia #scenicviews
Does anyone else love a pink aesthetic? We always find that pink stationery brightens our day. You can do the same by shopping our kawaii stationery! 🎀 #pinkaesthetic #pinkacademia #koreanaesthetic #pastelgirl #cutestationery #journaling #softacademia
So excited to share the cozy spring vibes in our shop today! 🌷🌿🎁 . . . . . . #fyp #giftshop #smallbusiness #spring #cottagecore #softacademia #womanowned #arizona
It’s time to start the job hunt I think. Well I started briefly yesterday, but got so overwhelmed on @linkedin and stopped to make full use of the bank holiday weekend. I thought maybe it was that post holiday spiral contributing, where settling back into the reality hits you no matter how gently you try to transition back. But I don’t think that’s it. I think it’s the competing truths in my head that is getting me right now. It’s a privilege, a gift, to be able to honor my curiosities professionally through a PhD - I set out to create a set of projects that explore different intersections of meaningful topics to me and I’ve learned so much along the way. It’s also, as any academic would tell you, Y E A R S of grief and rejection and fear and anxiety and exhaustion. It is a task on its own to hold those truths together in my brain and body. And I’m frozen still at the prospect of this becoming a loop, a cycle, a pattern. It’s looming there, a future where I can mosaic my curiosities again at different intersections of my professional skill set, both a gift and something that exhausts me at the prospect. Outside my window right now as I write this, there are pigeons eating the buds of new leaves off the tree that is trying to push out new life. And the metaphor is almost too much for me 🥲 Because that is what this feels like, the job market, the idea of pitching and selling and finding key words for a CV and optimizing a bio, it’s picking away at the bloom that is currently trying to come out of me in the form of a thesis. I really am proud of the work I’ve created and yet I already feel waves of stress and insecurity and fear from what’s next coming. The things that most excite me, the different ways I can be a writer, take photos, tell stories, connect with people, teach, play, speak, are the things that feel the most draining to set up right now. There are job descriptions that fit in some ways, and others don’t. There are ways I understand my marketability in the job market and other ways I can’t see it. And it’s not that I thought it would be easy, but I didn’t consider how many ways there would be to feel about what’s next. #SoftAcademia
🍃🌻🌱 . . . . . . . . #spring #softacademia #altgirl #ootd #punk #loafers #style #shorthair #softgrunge #edgy #emo #outfitinspo #midsizestyle #tattoos #weeb #cardigan #streetstyle #socal #accessories #springfashion
Today’s the last working day of Q1 for the UK. I’ve never been a quarter gal (12 week year kind of person) as I’ve never thought of my life through corporate cycles before, but for some reason this year, it feels right to reflect in three month chunks, as this year is one of many milestones. Before we get into the numbers, can I tell y’all what I’m most proud of? Telling people that I’m having a hard time, while I’m having a hard time. There was a lot of praise in my life for not needing, for being an “easy kid” or “a joy to have in class”. I tried my best to not inconvenience people around me with my emotions and when they spilled over, as they do when there’s very little education on emotional expression and regulation, I often became the butt of a joke of being sensitive or was moved out of my emotions with distraction or minimization. Which meant through high school and undergrad, I did a lot of turning in. A lot of moving through things alone, taking pride in independence, and doing my best to not seek emotional support from other people. This PhD is lonely, it’s hard to birth something into the world from brain onto paper, and I have worked so hard (since my first semester becoming a therapist really) to let people in, and somehow, something clicked during these last months. I’ve been able to share when I’m insecure, dissociated, hyper vigilant, petty, had my feelings hurt, etc. way more easily and with more people than ever before (including all of you reading this - which I absolutely know having this community’s response to my sharing and writing has helped in this, so thank you for being here). And that’s honestly my biggest win of these last three months. To actually receive support and care and connection when I need it, and not just mention I was struggling after the fact. Q1 in numbers, though, looks like this: Cry count by day: 40 Desk rejected papers from my PhD: 3 Dissertation word count: 42, 824 Miles flown: 1,240 Writing retreat: 7 days Books read: 32 @gelatojack: 4 Co-writing cafe dates with friends: 4 @cinderellamusical rewatch: 3 Pure sunshine days: 10 #SoftAcademia #Q1 #Q1Reflections #12WeekYear
. . . . . . . . #femfatale #femmefatale #dark #darkart #darkacademia #grunge #grungestyle #grungeaesthetic #aesthetic #darkaesthetic #softgrunge #softaesthetic #softacademia #oldschool #oldmoney #oldmoneyaesthetic #oldmoneystyle #atmosphere #cas
forever in love with my room ⊹.˚🪞🕯️♡ #roomdecor #coquette #dollette #romanticacademia #coquetteroom #diydecor #pink #pinkroom #softaesthetic #softacademia
Spring creations 🌸🌼💐🌷💐
Last week I went to a presentation on change makers and social entrepreneurship, to look at a model of research / project development that is a bit more decentralized from a university. And I was struck by how inaccessible it is for non-extraverts, or people who have high levels of anxiety, or a history with trauma, or people who are disabled. When I asked the presenters if there was mentorship for someone to develop an application with them - as in someone with an idea but might have challenges building a network on their own, might not have the strongest leadership skills, or finds putting together an application confusing or hard because it isn’t set up for the way their brain processes information - and they didn’t. Second part of the question, I asked how they support the entrepreneurs in their program with their mental health, seeing as they are funding only projects that they deem as contributing to or causing ‘systemic change’ which can (1) be isolating to take on, and (2) there tends to be high rates of burnout amongst founders and entrepreneurs, even if they are not tasked with addressing a systemic problem, and there wasn’t much to be said for either. They attempted an answer saying they would accommodate those who ask for their needs to be taken into account. That answer to me, fails to grasp at the reality that it’s incredibly hard to ask for what you need for your needs to be met when your anxious, hyper vigilant, introverted, depressed, or just plain uncertain how to exist in a new space. I also struggled to understand what sort of systemic change they can actually support while perpetuating this sort of ableism in where it is the responsibility of the individual to point out the unsupportive nature of the culture and environment, rather than this organization building in room for different levels of ability and disability. There is nothing revolutionary about asking people to challenge the same assumptions around accessibility and mental health that they face everywhere else, in a place that supposedly centers systemic change. #SocialEntrepreneurship #SoftAcademia #ChangeMakers #SystemicChange #MentalHealthSupport
Ready for the days to look all springy and Parisian 🌿🫶🏽 I’ve never yearned for spring as much as I do now! Despite being gloomy weather girlie, I’m eagerly craving the warmth of the sun and the burst of colors. But if I had a choice, I’d fast forward through summer and dive straight into the cozy embrace of autumn after experiencing the glorious days of spring! 🫶🏽 Are you excited for spring?
Magnolia trees sending me into a pre-nostalgic state this week 🌸 I got to memorialize my favorite magnolia tree in town with a friend earlier this week by taking photos together and it sort of slipped out of me in a moment of admiring being present together, that we wouldn’t see the magnolia trees here bloom in their full beauty again. This was the last majestic moment for these trees in this town for us. This happened just a couple days before I reached the halfway point of my dissertation word count (a couple hundred words over 40,000 🤩) and taken together, as I reflect back on this week, I’m struck by how little time is left and how even though this was never going to be my forever place, and how, in many ways, I’m ready to move away yet I know I will miss it. It’s always interesting to me how amongst feelings of stress, what can be seen as charming in less charged state, suddenly becomes an inconvenience with the storm of cortisol. I am annoyed by slippery rain soaked cobblestones when I’m rushing to return a library book that’s been recalled on me, but on a day where the sun is shining and I have an iced americano in hand and I can blast a soundtrack I love instead of trying to get through another trauma audiobook, I am so delighted by the cobblestones and know I’ll miss them when I return to a place that is much more frequently has car horns and pavement that can fit more than one person at a time. In these moments sometimes I’m overwhelmed and how impermanent our emotion states are - that one moment I’m worried about the future and my employability and the next I’m feeling wistful for formals that haven’t even ended yet. How I’m so grateful for the friendships I’ve made on and offline during this time and how sad I am to know we’ll transition to long distance friendships as many of my other most cherished relationships have. It’s that mix of slowing down and hurrying up and also being present that seems to mark every chapter in which I uproot my life and resettle. 📸 @morganheals #PhdDiaries #SoftAcademia #MagnoliaBloom #MagnoliaBlossom #Nostalgia #Sentimental #FeelYourFeelings #HowHumanOfYou
Ya viene la primavera 💕🌸
I’ve studied some version of psychology or had a class in psychology since 2009. It is a field I have felt connected to and excited by at times, and other times, frustrated by and isolated from and distrustful of, even. When I was first preparing my PhD applications, in the middle of lockdowns in Seattle, working as a virtual therapist using play therapy, I thought psychology departments made the most sense to support my project. I’m a therapist, I have created a proposal around the mental health impacts of COVID-19 pandemic, I want to explore healing from collective trauma, so psychology is the place for me, right? Wrong. I couldn’t get any yeses from psychology departments across the seven universities I had begun reaching out to around the globe. No one felt qualified to support my project because it was applied. And there’s where I feel the most confused and lonely and on the outside of a field I’ve spent all of my adult life within. Academia, specifically psychology, rarely exists to support the therapists in room (as other practitioners in other fields I’m sure can relate). The experiments are not set up in real world conditions to make them applicable, the inclusion criteria for participation are often hyper-specific so they can say they “controlled” for a variable but our patients will never come to us like that, the results are kept behind paywalls and written convolutedly, and yet, this is where all of the funding continues to go. The rupture between the field and me continues as I received three desk rejects from psychology specific journals over the last three weeks. It confused me that one believed the work belonged in a clinical journal, even though it wasn’t clinical work. Just because play therapists were the participants doesn’t inherently make it clinical. Others seemed to purport that therapists perspectives - the professionals you trust and task with supporting your mental health - on recovery through the pandemic isn’t unique or significant. Or even that their responses are well known, widely understood, old news. And so I just can’t help but feel more distant and outside of the field as time goes on. #softacademia
Book: Pride and Prejudice Author: Jane Austen Review: Pride and Prejudice is an 1813 romantic novel of manners written by Jane Austen. This book is one of her most famous novel. Although this book is mainly about romance and marraige, it is much about many other themes such as Women's position in the regancy society, class politics, social status and importance of socail conduct.. This novel is a satirical and critique on regency England's society and social expectations on women and their presentation... The novel follows the character development of highly judgmental, headstrong and witty Elizabeth Bennet (protagonist of the novel) who learns from her mistake what is superficial goodness and actual goodness.. The novel is witty and hilarious. A most lovable classic of all time... Definitely a must try..❣️🦋💗 Tags: ✨🌻 #bookinstagram #prideandprejudice #janeausten #regencyera #elizabethbennet #romanticnovel #women #bookishlove #bookgram #bookquotes #darkacademia #softacademia #romanticacademia #lovebooks #bibiliophile #french #englishliterature #classsics #oldbooks #darcy #bookishcommunity #tamilbooks #quotes #nature #loveforreading #bookreader #bookreaderscommunity #beauty #asthetic #bookmania
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#softgirl #pinkacademia #softacademia #self #selfie #selca #lookoftheday #todayslook #makeup #motd
💅🏻💓💗 #pinkacademia #softacademia #outfit #style #fashion #softgirl #ootd #ootdshare #ootdstyle #lookoftheday #todayslook #ootdfashion
Walking out of leading my first international play therapy training feeling like 🥺🥰🤩 I have very few words left in me today after that, but it’s such an honor to start giving back to the field that got me to the place where I am today, doing a PhD on play therapy & trauma at Cambridge University with PEDAL. 📸: @kaelyngraceapple #PlayTherapyTraining #PlayTherapyWorks #HealingTrauma #PlayResearch #CambridgeUniversity #SoftAcademia #InternationalSpeaker #InternationalTrainer
Took the whole week off from school to rest and take afternoon naps ꒰ᐢ⸝⸝•༝•⸝⸝ᐢ꒱⸒⸒ • • • • • • • • • #darkacademia #lightacademia #moodboard #lightacadamiaaesthetic #nature #romanticacademia #artacademia #softacademia #darkacademiaart #chaotic academia #darkacademiabooks #darkacademiamoodboard #youngadultbooks&libraries #boooks #nature #redhair
Clear desk, clear mind 🌿 I've been having fun in all my classes this semester. Honestly, uni life has peaked ✨️ and I am here for it! What classes are you taking? 👀 #studygram #studyblr #studymood #studymotivation #desksetup #studyinspo #studyinspiration #academia #softacademia #mindfullyacademic #productivity #studentcommunity #studentlife #studycommunity #college #uni #sociology #rhodia #notes #studynotes
When it rains, it pours? Here to report another rejection, swift and hurtful. This one did really hurt something within me, and induced one of the highest cry levels of the year for the cry count (iykyk). The language of saying that the paper does not make a significant advancement to the field, after it’s something I have worked on for three years, is original research that is engaging with the disconnect between what therapists believe is important for collective trauma recovery and what is not happening in real life right now, is really painful feedback (?) I don’t even really know if I consider this feedback. I don’t feel owed publication just because it’s something I’ve worked on for three years. But I do feel like it’s unfair to lay claim to its ability to be significantly impactful. It speaks to the disconnect between what journals value and what knowledge is useful to make accessible to the public. Do I think academic journals are incredibly accessible to the public? No not really. Do I think having peer reviewed publications matter for people’s willingness to engage with the work meaningfully and seriously? I do. Do I need the publications for my career? Not really. But do I think publication is an important part of my academic journey in terms of making public what I’ve been engaged with? Yes. The priorities of journals are not always what is in the best interest for the public, and I know that, and yet it still is painful to have work devalued right in front of your eyes when it is one of the only avenues for it to be evaluated in a respected way. It is discouraging and I know people talk about it being part of the process of academia, however, there really isn’t anything constructive or helpful in being told your work, in the eyes of one editor, isn’t significant. That is just a surefire way to hurt someone’s feelings. And I don’t think that should ever be the goal of a rejection. My supervisor has encouraged me to continue submitting the paper, so I do have support behind the work in some capacity, but my motivation to put myself in the line of fire for another rejection is nonexistent. #SoftAcademia #AcademicWriting
Finding outfits is hard sometimes :(( #outfits #fashion #styling #elegantoutfits #y2koutfits #softacademia
My take on soft academia look #softacademia #outfitinspo #fashioninspo
On Friday I had a meeting with a start up that I have a really good working relationship with. They had mentioned previously a desire to have me be a part of the clinical leadership team, and we said we would check in as my timeline became more solidified. As I am nearing six months out from finishing my PhD, I had a meeting with them and they said there was no certainty for them to hire me at a full time level with hiring freezes and lack of clarity around their next round of funding. This is a fully remote, asynchronous, team that does not make you earn PTO, sends equipment to you, etc. and I was really hopeful looking to the future that I would be able to do some digital nomad months in the sunshine at the end of the PhD working for that company. That future is not available to me anymore. (at the moment, through this one route) And I feel disappointed about that. I also feel nervous about entering the job market and my ability to stay abroad depending on if I am even lucky enough to have options or choices as I start applying. Where to go in terms of countries, cities, and companies. Someone asked me a couple weeks ago if I was going to make any content here around job searching post-PhD and I hadn’t really planned on it because I was really hopeful about the start-up opportunity. But circumstances have changed, as they tend to, and job searching will now become a predominant theme to the end of my PhD experience (as is typical for us social science folks) so we’ll go through it together. I don’t feel complete desolate, there are a lot of interesting possibilities in my mind, and I gave myself enough time in having this meeting now (I was going to ask for an offer in writing by April) to introspect, brainstorm, make connections, and decide what to do so I don’t have to panic. I do however have to take crafting a post PhD professional life seriously as a form of creation for myself and make time for it in a way I have been lucky enough to not have to so far. I cried when I closed my laptop from that meeting, but I hope springtime will bring in some lightness and energy and excitement to the journey that’s about to come. #SoftAcademia
This top is so cute 😭 ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ #elegantoutfits #babydolltshirt #femalehorrorprotagonist #femalehorrorprotagonist #softacademia
Plongez dans l'élégance intemporelle de notre tenue light academia, inspirée des tendances captivantes de Pinterest. Une fusion parfaite de style classique et de sophistication moderne. Découvrez un monde de trésors oubliés et de styles intemporels chez Coline Frip. Chaque vêtement a une histoire, chaque pièce a une âme. Revisitez le passé avec notre collection vintage unique en son genre. 🌟👗 💻www.colinefrip.fr Vinted : Colinefrip . . . . . #LightAcademiaFashion #AcademicChic #VintageStyle #ClassicElegance #TimelessFashion #BookishStyle #SophisticatedLooks #AcademicInspiration #SoftAcademia #LiteraryFashion #VintageInspired #ClassicFashion #AcademicWardrobe #ChicScholar
There are many stories and narratives to unpack from family of origins when it comes to food and cooking and taking up space in the kitchen - there are layers to what is taught explicitly and implicitly. I didn’t really start thinking about those stories’ impacts in my own life until the first lockdown in 2020. I was really confused by people’s desire to want to be in restaurants because they wanted to be served. Take out / take away was available in droves - meaning the cooking and cleaning could still be reduced - and still the protests to be allowed inside food spaces baffled me. When I spent time thinking about what I missed about restaurants in March and April of 2020, I was thinking about flavors. About the absolutely human noise that escapes when something tastes so damn good. And how I connected that experience only to going out to eat. I rarely had that experience when I was cooking at home for myself, things were good enough to meet dietary requirements most days, but I was so self critical about my skills in the kitchen; I never felt good enough to be there. I had no idea how to balance different parts of a meal finishing on time, I didn’t know when it was best to use a chefs knife and pairing knife, I didn’t know how mined versus diced could affect an ingredients taste. And so, in the first lockdown, I was stressed, I was tired, I was overwhelmed and scared just like others, and also knew I desperately needed to connect to joy. Cooking was something I could do safely in my bubble and was an interest I was nervous to try so I never made time for, to which I had no excuse for that anymore lol So I started small, strawberry infused balsamic vinaigrette and blueberry thyme infused goat cheese. I watched cooking videos and checked out e-cookbooks from the library. And slowly I figured out some recipes, and I changed my relationship to cooking from critical to playful. My kitchen is now VERY much a place I look forward to spending time in, where I can delight in flavors and be creative, where I destress rather than stress out; critical to my wellbeing during phding👩🏻🍳 #softacademia #cookingwithlove #content30 #kitchenlove #howhumanofyou
Rejection 💔❤️🩹 I’ve received four emails back from literary agencies/agents since November, and have eleven non-responses, which can effectively be taken as a no. This is for a children’s book project related to trauma that I rewrote and edited in 2023. Writing children’s books about complex psychological topics, distilling the information from not only my professional work as a therapy but also my academic work through my PhD, has been a dream of mine for many years. I remember telling people about this midway through my masters in Seattle for the first time when I started sharing other bits of my writing and getting really kind feedback reflected back to me. What I find really challenging about these rejections is that it is making me doubt my ability to communicate meaningfully and compellingly with children. I really enjoy writing, I think I’m decent at it, I have collected beautiful evidence in the comment section of my posts throughout the last few years of this account that my writing resonates with people and my way of seeing as well as communicating the world is important to more people than just myself. I have, for the last couple years, started to conceptualize part of my life post PhD to have children’s picture book author as one bit. I know that traditional publishing isn’t the only valid route to this dream, and I also know that publishing houses aren’t always the most supportive to debut authors, and still it’s a route I feel compelled to pursue because I simply don’t have the time and space and energy and money to find an illustrator, a publisher, and garner up an audience for it all on my own. People love to share success stories of authors who have had a billion rejections before becoming worldwide phenomenons, but I per usual, just want to feel my feelings about rejection. It’s hard. It’s hard on the best of days when I’m just grateful no tells me I should be ashamed of submitting it. It feels even harder at a time where everything else feels so vulnerable with academic articles under peer review and looking to the job market and having to prepare to defend what I’ve just spent the last three years doing. #softacademia
A bit basic but oh well (I need ideas) ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ #elegantoutfits #elegant #darkacademiaoutfits #darkacademia #darkacademiaaesthetic #softacademia #softacademiaoutfits #softacademiaaesthetic #vintage #feminine #businessoutfits